Today, President Trump hosted Kanye West in the Oval Office for the season finale of the game show Who Wants to Be America's Most Annoying Publicly Loud Person? It was a tie. While it's unclear what the purpose of this pest-a-pest was beyond drumming up empty publicity and raising my hackles, one might call their pontifications positively Shakespearean. And by that I mean, it was a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing.
During the meeting, Kanye spoke for 10 full minutes, uninterrupted, which has never happened in Trump's presence. So, progress? Uninterrupted Rant 2020!
After Kanye finished, Trump responded "I tell you what, that was pretty impressive. That was quite something." Ever a man of eloquence, Trump manages to stumble into the same reaction that everyone else is having. Namely, "Wow, WTF?"
Other things that happened during their meeting:
- Kanye said "Time is a myth," like he was auditioning for a sequel to A Wrinkle In Time in the role of Mrs. Whatthehellisthis?
- Kanye was asked if he'd run for president and promised not until 2024, and for once I'm rooting on climate change to just wrap this whole thing up.
- These two people have the ear of the president:
- Kanye said some nonsense that is really not worth your time about Hillary Clinton's campaign.
- Kanye typed his password into his phone. His password is "000000."
- Kanye paraphrased Rent and/or a throw pillow, saying "Let’s stop worrying about the future all we have is today.
- Kanye said that Trump is on "a hero's journey." You know, like Don Quixote!
- Kanye described his MAGA hat as a Superman cape, which is odd because it is definitely not a cape because it is a hat and also Superman would hate literally all of this. But sure. A hat is a cape for the head. Words mean nothing. Next!
- Kanye showed Trump a picture of a plane!
It's called the I-Plane-1. The I. PLANE. ONE.
- Kanye looks like he's giving the "I was rooting for you, Tiffany" speech to Jared Kushner but really he's circling back on that whole not being into the 13th Amendment thing. Cool.
Can you imagine if Kanye was yelling at Jared, though? Jared's inner monologue is just tiny bird screams, like a little baby eagle having an anxiety attack
- Kanye, in his circuitous rag on the 13th Amendment, posed the following riddle: "Would you build a trap door that if you mess up and accidentally something happens, you fall and you end up next to the Unabomber?" Which really makes you think, doesn't it? It really makes you question literally everything.