I have the chance to move to New York, but he won’t come with me.
Dear E. Jean: I’ve finally found him! The man who has it all! I’m madly in love and have never been so happy. There’s just one problem. I also have a chance to move to the Big Apple, something I’ve been dreaming of my whole life. He hates New York and refuses to move. Do I choose the man it took me forever to find? Or the city I’ve always dreamed of? —Torn
Miss Torn, My Tempest: This is the kind of question that causes Auntie Eeee to want to step into the pantry and take a nip of the cooking sherry. Because there’s no way in hell I’m gonna answer it, Torn, old girl. Whichever—man or city—I advise you to choose, you will forever regret not doing the opposite.
P.S. But I will just remark that whenever a woman has to ask if she should choose the man, she shouldn’t.
BY E. JEAN